Life as it stands cycles through seasons, year in and year out as if nothing has changed. Today comes after yesterday and fades into tomorrow without any notice and then all of a sudden yesterday was the first snowfall and cold Colorado air catching in your throat as you stand steaming mug of cocoa in hand in your snow boots on your large back porch first thing in the morning in beautiful silence and today the birds of paradise are in full bloom outside of your Hollywood apartment and the sun shimmers off the pool just outside of your only window in your new tiny studio where the new vivid life dances within your every inhale and exhale.
Here I find myself, 7 months into the year of 2012 asking what trickery of time travel is this. Yet this happens over and over again. Who I am is astounded who I was in what feels mere moments before dwelling on the knowledge that seemingly mere moments from now I will be reliving this same feeling. Does this deem I am living in the moment or just another passerby in this screening of a life.
I suppose only time will tell.
2 comments:
Whenever I lack inspiration, or desire a new perspective. I never have to look any further than you. Your mind works like a Rube Goldberg machine, extremely detailed resulting in simple truth. Incredibly well written, drawing on memory and providing warmth through your imagery.
"Does this deem I am living in the moment or just another passerby in this screening of a life."
I do not believe that there are any passerby's in life. Time is an illusion, therefore when we are living in the moment we are creating a memory for "later".
At the times in which we feel we are not "living in the moment" (which is usually a product of thinking of the past or future) we tend to feel like a passerby (or "time traveler" i like to call it).
We have the power to learn from the past and use it’s knowledge to change the future. People often say that you cannot change the past. Which is true if you are only thinking in a linear sense. Yet when we actually take time to think about our past, present, and our future we are really just thinking about the FEELINGS that those situations have manifested within us. Whether that feeling was created in the past, is being created right now, or that will be created in the future.
So.. Thought itself is time travel. And memories of past situations are now just feelings your brain and heart are interpreting. If that is truly the case (which I believe so) then we have the power to change our past, our current, and our future by changing how we feel about our thoughts. This is expressed in the quote;
“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”
The quote is not necessarily referring to physically being killed or being physically stronger. It’s referring to an emotional state. It’s referring to taking control of your emotions and how you feel about situations. When someone has done you wrong you naturally feel bad. You naturally start feeling a certain way. Or if you loose a good job and you feel like your whole life is going to fall apart as a result. Of what if both happen and your life does “fall apart”.
Well, what if that happened 7 months ago and your sitting here right now REFLECTING on those situations and those feelings they organically conjured up in your heart and brain. You are sitting here, wherever here may be, and you are thinking about a TIME in your life where your life “fell apart”. Lets say you are far better off now then 7 months ago. This being the case, you probably look back and smile and have a small laugh at yourself because what didn’t kill you made you stronger. But if someone told you it was a good thing in the middle of your feeling bad you would most likely reject that claim.
Did you change your past? Did you change your future? Either way you answer it will always be both. Yes & No. It will always be both because how we feel is more important to us than what “actually happened”. You could have ended up homeless and starving. And you would blame the loss of your job on your current crappy situation. Does this change the past? No, but it sure does change how we feel about it doesn’t it?
Life is just an experience. We are all passerby’s living from moment to moment and back again. We all have the power to relive moments, and to shape future ones as well.
“Seni seviyorum bellek”
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