There was the year my sister and I went on the Tilt-a-whirl over 15 times in a row
The year I discovered dandelion chains and making swinging songs
There was the year I learned how to make friendship bracelets and that promises can be broken much more easily than kept.
There was the year I discovered Firestix Ice-cream. Now that was a good year.
This year I've tried to learn not to sweat the small stuff as much. I've worked on letting down some of my walls and learned alot about myself. Most of which was all there just waiting to be taken off the shelf and rediscovered. I have delved into the dark secret parts of myself that I was afraid to look at before- It's not always pretty for any of us is it? I have conquered a lot of fears and I have vanquished some difficult demons although I have yet to see how far that rabbit hole goes. I have worked on surrounding myself with the best people I can find- and letting loose those whose life plans do not mesh with mine. I have opened my eyes and not only discovered the beauty in seeing the best in people around me but that there is so much beauty just in everything around me. This notebook next to my computer today has a handwritten note from close friends- who after spending a Saturday afternoon with me talking and drawing and loving life- Spent the whole of the next day cleaning my place while I was off snowboarding and left a note that says We <3 You on :) laying on my laptop where I was sure to find it. I have rows of bottles of wine all shared with dear friends who each have very special roles in my life. My life would be significantly at a loss without each and every one of you. Even down to my postman who always smiles one of those real smiles when I see him out and he gives me the mail. You know the kind I'm talking about-- Where the eyes crinkle you feel like a ray of sun just hit you.
There are hundreds of photo's taken this year but nothing compares with the film in my brain. The Hiking trips, Wake boarding, The Swimming pool, Lakes, Tubing down the river, Bbq's, Rope swinging, Bike rides, Tour de Fat, Crunching through leaves, Hot springs, Road trips, Camping at the Cabin, Four Wheeling, S'mores, Board Games, Pastry Hunting, Dance Parties, Snow Boarding, Chopping Firewood, Moving parties, Nerf gun fights, Long drives, Star Gazing, Baking alone and with friends, Fighting over who get's to lick the spoon (usually ended in using a couple spoons!), Breakfasts (BACON!), Getting to know you. Yes You.
I've met many wonderful people this year and I've stayed friends with many old ones as well. The best part of this year has been getting to know each and everyone of you. Learning about you, sharing smiles with you, loving you and caring for you, sharing in your successes and your downfalls. To each of you I thank you for this. I hope next year only brings more of the same.
This year my resolution was to find strength within myself and not look to others for it. To become more comfortable with myself and opening up to those I know as well as those I do not know yet. I have endeavored to grow in every opportunity that I have been so blessed to have. I have still a long way to go but I am not stopping here.
Each of you have grown to know at the very least bits and pieces of me. For those of you who do or do not know-- Thank you for being a part of this with me. Every day requires strength for me to keep going. To carry on and continue stepping forward.
To be reminded there is light at the end of the tunnel. To remember to stop and smell the roses and crunch in the leaves. That the smallest things sometimes take up the biggest part of our hearts. That a thoughtless word or words can create a lifetime of hurt. To remember that all work and no play leaves Jane a dull girl. To remember to put myself first. That nothing hits the spot quite like a spot of tea. That I really do have the strenth, that I really can hold it together, that the show must and will go on. To know that we all have masks but we don't always have to use them. This is a very small sampling of what I have learned from you and I do know I am so lucky to know each one of you.
I have stabilized my friendship and watered them to the best of my care available to me. I have put down new roots with other people in hopes of growing friendships with them as well. The choice to have you as a friend has not come lightly. I want you to be a part of my life. I want to be a part of yours.
I am not sure as what my resolution will be in the new year but I do know that I will continue to resolve to be the best person I can be. For myself as well as for you.
Please bear with me as I am still under construction. :) <3
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